Feasting my Ancestors
For the past few years I have been ‘feasting the ancestors’ or ‘feasting the dead’ at around Samhain time on 31st October. Halloween or the ancient Samhain, is considered the time of year when the veil between our world and the spirit world is at its thinnest.
I love this ritual and I especially love it when it’s done in a circle, with dear friends. I have only done this indoors but it could be done as the Mexicans do and celebrated at crematoria or cemeteries where the loved ones are scattered or buried. The Mexicans call this The Day of the Dead, and it’s a more elaborate affair and involves whole communities. I don’t live close enough to my deceased loved ones to go to their burial site. That said it could still be done at a place like a crematorium, despite your own kin not being there. Although Samhain at this time of year can be rather chilly.
I see this ritual of feasting the ancestors as a time to fully embrace our past ancestors, to remember and honour those now gone. Remembering is acknowledging our loved ones, our folks who walked before us.
For an indoor ceremony I would normally create an altar. I would usually smudge the room, the altar and myself to get grounded and to step into the intention. I would include on the altar an item that represented the loved one that has passed, a trinket and/or a photo. I would always include a lit candle. I, and any friends taking part, would bring to this occasion food and drink that the individual(s) enjoyed. Then in a round, respectfully, we would tell our stories about those that have gone before us, the fond memories, and maybe the funny tales. We would discuss the foods and drink we brought, share them with others present, and celebrate and honour the ancestors’ lives. Maybe we would share a drink, a ‘toast’ to those lovely connections that we had, with a favourite tipple that a family member liked. It’s a beautiful way to share and remember those that have gone before us. (Some people have a similar ceremony: they set a chair or a space for the deceased, but actually feast in complete silence.)
This ritual can also include a relative where there was not a good relationship and experience. What is important here still, is that what we share remains positive. This may help with healing, or at least it may help to connect with the ancestor line. For example if it’s a parent, where there was a difficult relationship, then the celebration could be that the parent gave you life and you’re here because of them. And that is worthy of gratitude. I have personally found this ritual a time to connect and heal.
On the other hand if there are good and positive past relationships then this annual ritual adds to other annual celebrations like birthdays and special events, a time of remembrance. Involving children in this ritual can make it into a lovely family occasion. There is a lot of love and heartfelt feeling and sharing to be had. Remembering and sharing with others some parts of your family story is a rich experience.
